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Writer's pictureValena Lova

Why You Fear Becoming The Best Version Of Yourself! Tips on Manifesting The Reality You Desire

Why You Fear Becoming The Best Version Of Yourself! Tips on Manifesting The Reality You Desire

Manifestation has become popularised in recent years, through books like ‘The Secret’, YouTube and TikTok trends such as, ‘Becoming THAT girl’ and so much more!

The internet is flooded with information, suggesting that we are completely in control of creating our own reality.

It’s truly inspiring, knowing that we have full control over our lives! In that case however, we must take full responsibility of our life choices, and accept the positive, along with the negative experiences. After all, as creators of our own realities, we have control over how we choose to perceive the experiences we go through. Wether we attach meaning, learn something or pass our wisdom to others, it’s all completely up to us.

Tips on Manifesting The Reality You Desire

I have experienced many ‘miracles’, especially in more recent times, by deepening my knowledge of this subject and strengthening my self-awareness.

Through studying ‘Law of Attraction’, and ‘Human Design’, and a combination of meditation, breathing techniques and even physical exercises, I’ve come to understand the following.

Manifesting itself is not the most challenging part of the process. Knowing exactly what you WANT to create in my experience, is the key to living in alignment and feeling fulfilled with life.


Because, wether we are aware of it or not, we are constantly manifesting experiences into our reality. Therefor, becoming conscious to the reality we desire, we can receive greater satisfaction along the process, and feel more empowered with the results.

Tips on Manifesting The Reality You Desire

Reflect on times in your life when you really wanted something, and you made it happen, or it ‘magically’ came to you almost in an instant! It probably didn’t require much effort, and you maybe felt in awe of how you managed to manifest it.

Now, reflect on other moments in life, when you really wanted to obtain a certain material object, or inner quality, like a house, or becoming more confident in public speaking. But, that required some hard work, and it took longer than you anticipated. Or perhaps you’re still along the journey of making it part of your reality.


Let’s elaborate on this a little, shall we?

I’d like to share with you, why I came to write this post in the first place. The past year has been a deep dive of self-observation, healing past traumas, and realising various reoccurring life patterns.

I’m making the conscious effort to witness myself, in order to live more truly to who I am at my core, and embody the version of myself I believe is the highest possible version there is!

Of course, life is a journey, a constantly evolving process, discovering new aspects of our being as we collide with new challenges.

Last year, I became a certified Master Coach in Personal Development, and my training required an intense self-discovery and goal setting practices, that helped to not only explore myself better, but question why I envision my future.

Tips on Manifesting The Reality You Desire

I filled notebooks of ideas, routines and visions of who I wanted to become! The version of me that I wanted to bring to life, through manifestation techniques I had learnt.

Most of what I wrote down has already become my new reality, however some of the really big things still remain ‘in process’. What I realised about these ‘bigger’ ideas is that I have many fears attached to them.

The fear of becoming successful, fear of the unknown, fear to change my environment, taking on more responsibility, just to name a few.

You see, manifesting something you are certain of isn’t so hard. But, feeling uncertain or lacking details in what you desire, will resist the process of creation or offer results which misalign to your visions.

Imagine this; you are asked to draw a square on a piece of paper, done! Then, you are asked to draw a horse, and even though you manage to make out a four legged animal with hair and a tail on the page, it probably looks nothing like the horse you see in your mind, because you either lack the drawing skills, or it’s simply too far out of your bloody comfort zone, to draw it precisely in that moment of time!

Now, consider this; you are determined to draw this horse, all you see around you is horses.. on tv, your friends talking about them etc., so you set out on a journey to understand more about the process, and follow this inner calling.

You sign up to art classes, you visit local horse stables, observing them close up, and every day you take small action steps to get better at both visualising, and applying the skills you’ve learnt.

The better you get, the less afraid you feel about making a mistake. The more you practice, the more comfortable it feels to see the horse in your mind, and to translate the image onto the piece of paper. Through consistency, intention and building this new drawing habit, you start to embody yourself into a new version of who you are. The version of you that can draw a beautiful, realistic-looking horse! Along with that, you may find that you enjoy being around horses, and you strike great conversations with other people, so you continue to explore the path, where you make new connections and build new life experiences.


In the same way, the process of manifesting who you envision yourself to be, drawing or not, can become true for you through the exact same way, in any field you feel drawn to.

The ideas, and visions that continue to come to you, through various avenues, are signs for you to take action. To take one step forward in the direction that will lead you closer to this image.


If you see yourself having a business, but right now that seems way out of your comfort level, in complete contrast to where you currently stand, then worry not.

Keep focusing on the vision, keep exploring the details, keep in touch with it no matter what! The idea will expand if you remain with it. Whether thoughts try to distract you, or limit you, to say there’s no way you’ll ever achieve this, just reply, ‘I’m focused on my vision!’ Or, in Gabby Bernstein’s words, say to yourself, ‘I choose love, over fear’.

Tips on Manifesting The Reality You Desire

With time, you’ll find more clarity on wether this is truly meant for you, however if you don’t try, you won’t know. Through trial and error, you can navigate towards the details and adjust accordingly.

How To Do It


  • Define your goals/visions, by writing them down.

  • What skills can you start acquiring right now, to help you get one step ahead?

  • What personal qualities can you improve, to feel more aligned?

  • How can you start building connections now, that can align you better to that future self?

When you complete these exercises, be sure to congratulate yourself for manifesting the first step of your journey. From then on, embark along the path with confidence, trusting that what you need to know will be revealed to you at the right time.

When fear arises again, remind yourself that you’re expanding by stepping into the unknown.

Into the unknown, you can transform and transcend all limitations.

Bridge the gap, and feel empowered to step into the zone of greatness!


Share your experiences in the comment section of this post - I’d love to know if you relate and find this helpful.


To work with me, and learn more about ‘Personal Development Coaching’ and Coaching Services, click here.


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