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Are Fears Holding You Back In Life? Here’s How Transform Limitations into Limitless Potentials!
What are your current limitations? Is there an opportunity you are limiting yourself from fulfilling due to fear, or a belief you have about yourself?
Let’s dive deep into these limitations. Personally, I find it useful to explore ‘limiting beliefs’ and ‘fears’ as separate things, even if they are closely intertwined.
I’ll share examples of how experiences from our early years can impact the choices we make throughout life, and why becoming aware, can help to start the process of disassociating from the limitations, transcend into the potentials, and take the practical steps into a more fulfilling future. The future potential which is limitless!
#1 Limiting Beliefs Are fears holding you back in life?
Core beliefs are shaped in early childhood. We interpret the world around us, from parents, carers, teachers, and other authority figures, and what we are exposed to, we embody as truth.
Later in life, from age 7 onwards, we absorb information through our peers and social circles, once again creating a picture in minds of what reality is, and definitions about who we are, from the stories others present to us, or how we are influenced by our environment.
This can be both empowering, as well as limiting for us, depending on how we are raised, and the experiences with gain from our environment.
In the Human Design system, it is said that these experiences can be de-conditioned over time, through learning more about out energetic design, our authority, signature, purpose and much more.
Other forms of self-discovery systems, such as Yoga, help us to observe the layers of the self, learn to meditate, control the breath, and dive deep into the energetic centres of our being - aka ‘the chakra system’. This allows us to find our true self, and reach enlightenment. And what is enlightenment exactly?
I’ve gone through different stages of interpreting the meaning of this word, throughout my journey of self-realisation, and as it stand in this context, I’d say, for me it is exactly this; becoming aware of the self that is present, in this moment. With all the conditioned beliefs and behaviours.
And through this awareness, realising the version of you that is most aligned and authentic.
Because when you become aware of who you are currently, and know what you don’t want, you can better choose what you do want.
This is a journey, as change is constant, and therefor there’s no end to what can be transformed - including the Self.
Once we start to become aware of our limitations, wether they show up as fears, preventing us from taking action, or beliefs, suggesting we are not worthy enough, then we can reflect and regain our control. When you identify the problem, you can discover the solution.
Q: Identify a belief, and ask yourself, ‘is this fear my own, or is it someone else’s?
Did you hear this belief from a parent, or a friend, teacher etc?
Is this belief true? Does it serve you now, and does it align to the version of you that is authentic?
Age 7, I applied to a school in my hometown, Plovdiv - Bulgaria, where I wanted to specialise in art.
I attended the assessment, and was asked to paint a picture. Those are all the details I remember, but what stuck most was the feedback I received from my examiner.
She told me, my painting was no good, and that I should consider joining the folk dancing class instead. (That was the only other choice available)
The way she spoke down to me, destroyed my confidence about painting altogether, and made me feel unworthy for not having a choice of what to study instead.
This belief remained with me throughout my life, where only recently I came to realise that during secondary school and university, the exact pattern had repeated itself multiple times. To be treated the same way by teachers, in regards to my creativity, only for me to have the exact same reaction, and to confirm that my abilities were, as they presented them to be - No good!
Even when others would tell me they loved my paintings, I seemed to remain stuck in the belief that my teachers knew best, and their opinion was the one I deserved to receive.
This is just one example of many that can influence your decisions, and impact your self-esteem as you journey through life. Therefor, uncovering the past, and becoming aware of the patterns can begin to shift limiting beliefs to more empowering.
This process can transform your entire perception of reality. After all, life is not what happens to us, but how we perceive the lessons life is presenting for us.
Once I became aware of this pattern, I was able to reflect on it with more clarity. Having this knowledge now, that at this young age, I trusted the adult figures in my life, it was only natural to believe what was said and done. The lessons help me tell the story, and may offer you a new perspective to unlock something within you!
Looking back now, back then I was a child, and we are not all born prodigies, like Mozart, therefor my art piece most probably did suck! The main thing to consider is that the person who makes us feel limited, is most probably limited in ways, themselves. People who cause harm to another, have mostly likely been victims themselves. It doesn't make it right, but if we shift focus to the lessons, and expand our hearts to understand the situation better, we can let go of the resentment and free ourselves from the pain.
Now, the example I’ve shared with you is fairly small, but choosing to forgive this teacher for the words she used, which impacted my confidence, has allowed me to reflect and disassociate from the experience. I realise that her opinion is her own, and that if she was more confident in her teaching ability, perhaps she could have handled the situation better.
That’s the best she knew at that time, and it's ok. We all do the best we can, in the space and time we are at.
I also choose to believe that every experience is for my greatest good, therefor holding resentment for not getting into that school serves me in no way. The school I did get accepted into, was the better choice, and I am thankful to the ‘negative’ experience, because it lead me towards a more aligned path instead.
Spiritual concepts teach that we are the creators of our own reality. If we choose to believe this, and feel aligned to it, then we can transcend all limitations.
Knowing what I know now, I choose to believe that my creativity doesn’t conform to one style or practice, it can be applied to anything in life. Even to my thoughts and beliefs.
I can choose to believe that the opportunities are endless, and that through developing my skills, I’ll get closer to where I want to be.
Through testing what feels most aligned, I can enjoy the process more and connect to the people who resonate with my visions.
This has been incredibly freeing for my sense of creativity. It allows me to test different avenues of self-expression, and paint my views, thought different mediums.
Q: What is holding you back from expressing your creativity, and fulfilling your purpose right now?
#2 Overcoming Fears
Fears are very much linked to our beliefs, once again from early childhood, or can be formed by experiencing some type of trauma. It’s important to explore trauma with a professional, who can create a safe space for you to reflect on the experience, and offer tools to deal with it appropriately.
If you realise that you fear stepping into the unknown, as most fears related to change and transformations do, then ask yourself, ‘What do I fear most about my life changing?’
Maybe, you fear the judgment from others. This is something I continue to work on for myself.
I came to understand that I had a ‘people pleasing’ mentality that seeks validation from others.
One way I’m able to heal this within, is to offer validation to myself, by appreciating and congratulating my gifts and accomplishments. Through building trust with myself, as I show up and do what I intend, the trust becomes stronger, and I’m able to take bigger leaps into the unknown. Because I can look back and affirm, that if I’ve done it before, therefor I can do it again!
And, if I fail at times, I remind myself to be gentle and forgiving, and to carry on regardless.
Building self-worth will allow you to gain more confidence in yourself, and overcome fear more effortlessly over time.
What once felt like a big deal, may seem small now. Reflect back on the challenges you’ve overcome in life, and let that be proof you can do it again and again! Be sure to celebrate, even the smallest of wins and tasks you accomplish, as this will help you gain momentum and stronger belief in yourself.
Through strengthening your self-esteem, you’ll naturally become confident in who you are, and face whatever fears stand in your path.
Make the choice to observe the fears, and allow them to be seen. The more light you shine on them, the easier you can let them go and transform your life.
Q: What do you fear most in this moment? Can you take one step toward overcoming this fear?
The step could be to reach out to a friend, a therapist or even to journal what is felt.
It could mean that you sign up to a class, learning a skill that can carry you forward and better prepare you for the unknown.
Whatever the fear, big or small, choose to transform it, so you can shift into a more aligned self, the self that is limitless, the self that is worthy of more abundance and that can live with greater purpose.
How to do it
Write down the questions provided in a notebook, and go through each one.
Reflecting on any experiences from as early as you can remember, and any patterns you may have played out through life.
Identify if the beliefs and fears serve and support your self-development.
Would the version of you which is aligned to a purpose and feels fulfilled in life, carry these beliefs and fears?
What is that version of you choosing to believe in, and how does she/he feel when fear arises?
Share your reflections and intentions moving forward in the comment section of this post. Reach out with any suggestions for future posts, or get in touch if you're ready to take the next step and work with me 'Personal Development Coaching'.